Dance Before You Win

Why taking what you want less seriously may be the surest way to get it

What if I said that when you can’t have what you want, it’s because you take having what you want so damn seriously?

What if I said:

If you truly want something, you should start dancing and laughing?

By the way, with Dr Wendy Allen, leader of the dance and movement therapy program at Lesley University, I am facilitating one free and one paid workshop on the subject of this post. First, a free Zoom workshop and, in August, an in-person workshop, both called The Dance of Leadership (click and scroll down to read more and be considered for either).

Life Is Meant To Be Played

Dancers have the best lives. Everything is play. How can we dance and play as we lead our own lives, loosen up, and so accomplish and build what we choose?

The more we think anything is critical and serious, the tighter we become. The less nimble and able to adapt we are. The more we rely on our old, brittle way of trying to force things.

Suppose you take nothing seriously?

Suppose you assume all of life and getting what you want are not serious but just a game?

Photo by Ahmad Odeh on Unsplash

Die Before You Go Into Battle

We are all trying to avoid death, literally and metaphorically. It kills us and what we are trying to do.

Suppose you assume you are already dead? Suppose you die before going into battle?

Suppose you can then dance and play through life?

Then, you will already have what you want—happiness and ease.

And from there, you can create your life and organizations in any way you see fit, just to create it, not because it’s critical.

Why Ease Wins

Why does the jerk, as the cliché goes, always get the date? Because the jerk acts as though getting the date is not important, so they are loose and easy in their action.

Why does the person who has everything get even more? Because they don’t need anything more, so they act with grace and don’t cling as they move towards what they want.

So many leaders I work with block themselves because they are so convinced that they are right and that they know and that it is all so important.

But it isn’t.

Life is a game.

⏸️ Take a Moment To Reflect Here

Where in your life are you gripping so tightly that you’ve forgotten how to play? Tell me what came up for you by leaving a comment.

Laughing Is A Way Of Being

That life is a game is neither true nor not true. It is just a way of being. Being as though life is a game means you can act whatever way you choose to get whatever you choose and help whomever you choose.

Here is a poem by the Korean Zen Master Jun Kang (1898-1975) about Bodhidharma, the founder of Zen Buddhism:

When you truly see this world, everything is just like this.
If your eyes are like Bodhidharma’s, then there is much laughing and dancing!
The moon is bright in the sky;
The sun and stars are very quiet —
Only sounds of laughing fill the valley.

“Everything is just like this” means everything is just as it is and you don’t feel it is critical to change it. That is how Bodhidharma saw things so there is nothing to do but laugh and dance.

“The moon is bright in the sky and the sun and stars are very quiet” means you and your universe already exist so be grateful and let your laughing sounds fill all the space.

Photo by Mateusz Klein on Unsplash

It Works The Other Way Around

We think we will laugh and dance when we get what we want and accomplish our aspirations.

It is the other way around:

We will get what we want and accomplish our aspirations when we laugh and dance.

Want me to prove it?

I will.

Join me the free Zoom Dance of Leadership and at the longer in-person Dance of Leadership Workshop on August 22.

To apply to join either one, click here and click “Join the waitlist.” Once registered, I will send you an invitation to the Zoom Workshop.

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Let’s Talk

Today I would when have you found that letting go actually helped you move forward?

Leave a comment below or simply tap ❤️ to let me know you’re out there.

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With love,

Colin

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