Did you ever get stuck trying to explain your feelings or understand someone else's feelings and you just couldn't figure out how to resolve it all? Here's how to fix that.
A curmudgeon neighbor, who never appears, approached me one day and said "lady your yard looks like shit". I was stunned, but managed to keep my presence of mind. I asked what he meant, and then explained why we leave the leaves and native vines in our forest. I told him fireflies live in our yard because of it, and isn't that wonderful? I stayed calm, and said we certainly have different perspectives on what yards should look like and that's okay. Gently changed the subject and invited him in to my new art studio. He won't come, but I hope his fuse is no longer lit. I felt so grown up! 😃
Lovely story, Janet! Thank you. We get triggered by thoughts and stories. "He shouldn't speak to me like that!" Or, "What business of his is my yard?!" And then we respond to the stories. It's almost like fighting ghosts in a haunted house.
Instead, we get to know what we want to create in relationships and in our lives and shift our behavior to further our aspiration instead of responding to our past.
In Zen, we say, "If you're direction is clear [if you know what you are creating in this world--often, love, harmony, unity etc], then you can control your karma [thoughts and feelings that arise and try to control our behavior that come from the past]."
The thoughts and feelings are hard to eliminate. But if your center is strong--if you are centered in your Truth--they can not shake you from creating the world you choose. xo
A curmudgeon neighbor, who never appears, approached me one day and said "lady your yard looks like shit". I was stunned, but managed to keep my presence of mind. I asked what he meant, and then explained why we leave the leaves and native vines in our forest. I told him fireflies live in our yard because of it, and isn't that wonderful? I stayed calm, and said we certainly have different perspectives on what yards should look like and that's okay. Gently changed the subject and invited him in to my new art studio. He won't come, but I hope his fuse is no longer lit. I felt so grown up! 😃
Lovely story, Janet! Thank you. We get triggered by thoughts and stories. "He shouldn't speak to me like that!" Or, "What business of his is my yard?!" And then we respond to the stories. It's almost like fighting ghosts in a haunted house.
Instead, we get to know what we want to create in relationships and in our lives and shift our behavior to further our aspiration instead of responding to our past.
In Zen, we say, "If you're direction is clear [if you know what you are creating in this world--often, love, harmony, unity etc], then you can control your karma [thoughts and feelings that arise and try to control our behavior that come from the past]."
The thoughts and feelings are hard to eliminate. But if your center is strong--if you are centered in your Truth--they can not shake you from creating the world you choose. xo