I find it impossible to be firm on what I really want to do, when my partner raises all kinds of objections. I try to be kind and considerate, but that keeps me stuck!
Suha, thank you for your comment. I don't know you and don't know what is true or right for you. But I can tell you that, if a client used the word "impossible," I would interrogate that. "Impossible, really?" I would say, "What would shift it to possible?" If they said, "If my partner didn't raise objections." I would say, "People around you will always raise objections so what do you need to change in you?" I would be looking for my client to realize that they need to change their response to their partner's objections, which it sounds like you realize. I wonder if you can change your definition of kind and considerate in a way that includes doing what you want to do? Or if you can let go of the need to think of yourself as kind and considerate? :)
Thank you for that, Colin! I meant, I haven't figured out how to do it in a way that is good for both of us. It may be a lifelong habit of suppressing my needs, in order to serve and take care of others. It is difficult to overcome that.
Ha. Nothing painful. It’s just to say this. It is not difficult to overcome. It is only difficult to overcome if you want it to be comfortable and for everyone around you to like it. If you were willing to put up with the discomfort, you could change today. Me too!
I find it impossible to be firm on what I really want to do, when my partner raises all kinds of objections. I try to be kind and considerate, but that keeps me stuck!
Suha, thank you for your comment. I don't know you and don't know what is true or right for you. But I can tell you that, if a client used the word "impossible," I would interrogate that. "Impossible, really?" I would say, "What would shift it to possible?" If they said, "If my partner didn't raise objections." I would say, "People around you will always raise objections so what do you need to change in you?" I would be looking for my client to realize that they need to change their response to their partner's objections, which it sounds like you realize. I wonder if you can change your definition of kind and considerate in a way that includes doing what you want to do? Or if you can let go of the need to think of yourself as kind and considerate? :)
Thank you for that, Colin! I meant, I haven't figured out how to do it in a way that is good for both of us. It may be a lifelong habit of suppressing my needs, in order to serve and take care of others. It is difficult to overcome that.
Ha. Nothing painful. It’s just to say this. It is not difficult to overcome. It is only difficult to overcome if you want it to be comfortable and for everyone around you to like it. If you were willing to put up with the discomfort, you could change today. Me too!
Suha, I have another thought but I want to know if you want to hear it before I offere it.
Of course, however painful it is.